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What are the best books to read on the subject of
shyness?
Here
are just a few of them, with short descriptions and arranged by
subject. Many of these are getting old, and some are out of print, but
you may be able to find them at used book stores or sales.
Shyness
- Cheek,
Johnathan
-
- Conquering
Shyness; The Battle Anyone Can Win
- 1989;
G. P. Putnam's Sons
-
- Gives
good, basic advice on overcoming the problem of shyness. Especially
enlightening is the chapter on shy people's difficulties in finding a
job, and what they can do about it.
- Phillips,
Gerald M.
-
- Help
For Shy People
- 1981,
Prentice Hall, Inc.
-
- Enlightening.
Explodes some of the many myths surrounding the problem of shyness.
Recommended.
- Wassmer,
Arthur C.
-
- Making
Contact; A Guide to Overcoming Shyness, Making New Relationships and
Keeping Those You Already Have
- 1978;
Dial Press
-
- While
this book doesn't speak to the genetic component of shyness, it is one
of the first books on shyness to emphasize the importance of positive
imaging, and gives a lot of helpful tips.
- Zimbardo,
Phillip J.,
-
- Shyness;
What it is, What to Do About it
- 1977;
Addison Wesley Publishing Co.
-
- This
groundbreaking book was the result of five years' of scientific
research, the experiences of 5,000 people and the techniques used in
the Stanford Shyness Clinic, founded by the author. Recommended.
- -----
- Winning
Over Shyness
(audiotape)
- 1983;
Listen and Learn USA!
-
- A
discussion with Dr. Zimbardo on the consequences of shyness, and what
to do about it.
Assertiveness
- Alberti,
Robert E. and Michael L. Emmons
-
- Stand
UP, Speak Out, Talk Back! The Key to Self- Assertive Behavior
- 1970;
Impact Publishers
-
- Generally
good advice by two psychologists on the how-to's of developing
assertive behavior.
- Carter,
Jay
-
- Nasty
People; How to Stop Being Hurt by Them Without Becoming One of Them
- 1979;
Contemporary Books
-
- Gives
a good description of the problem of difficult people.
- Collins,
Pat
-
- How
to Be a Really Nice Person; Doing the Right Thing-- Your Way
- 1983,
M. Evans & Co.
-
- Highly
recommended. Maybe this book should be titled, How to Be a
Really Nice Person--Without Letting Other People Walk All Over You!
Contains advice on avoiding nosy questions, changing friendships,
dealing with constant borrowers, and much more. An excellent book.
- Dyer,
Wayne W.
-
- Pulling
Your Own Strings
- 1978;
Thomas Y. Crowell
-
- Frank-talking
book on the myriad ways we are victimized by society and each other,
and what we can do about it. Recommended!
- Elgin,
Suzette Haden
-
- The
Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense
- 1980;
Prentice Hall, Inc.
-
- Although
most verbal slights don't fall into any of the eight categories covered
in this book, the basic principles you learn here can be applied to
other situations. Especially interesting are the first eleven chapters.
- Simon,
Sidney B.
-
- Negative
Criticism, and What You Can Do About It
- 1978;
Argus Communications
-
- A
book that makes the excellent point that criticism is not only
something that we shouldn't dish out, but something that we shouldn't
always listen to, either.
- Zgourides,
George
-
- Don't
let them Psych You Out!
- 1993;
Loompanics Unlimited
-
- A
worthwhile book. Tells how to handle some truly nasty verbal attacks as
well as common day-to-day assertiveness-demanding situations.
Job
Hunting
- Bolles,
Richard Nelson
-
- What
Color is Your Parachute? A Practical Manual For Job-Hunters and
Career-Changers
- 1981;
Ten-Speed Press (updated annually)
-
- A
lot of the the tips in this book are best suited to students (who have
the luxury of a lot of time for the "informational interviews"
advocated by this book to help them decide on the right career path).
Still, this book gives information that will be useful for everybody,
no matter what stage of the job hunt they are in. For those who are
still in school, it should be required reading.
- Rosaluk,
Warren J.
-
- Throw
Away Your Resume and Get That Job!
- 1983;
Prentice Hall, Inc.
-
- Using
the techniques outlined in this book will take quite a good deal of
mettle (which may be the reason why many people don't
use them) but they are bound to be far more effective than the
traditional, resume-centered approach to job hunting.
Conversation
- Carnegie,
Dale
-
- How
to Win Friends and Influence People
- 1936;
Simon and Schuster
-
- There
have been many authors who have laid down the basic techniques of
getting people to like you since Carnegie (and there were a few who did
so BEFORE Carnegie) but none did so as memorably--or as
entertainingly--as Carnegie himself. Unfortunately, some of the people
who most need to read this book never will (and I'm not talking about
"shy" people here)!
- Gabor,
Don
-
- How
To Start a Conversation and Make Friends
- 1983;
Fireside Books
-
- Though
it borrows heavily from Wassmer, this is a good guidebook on the
fundamentals of conversation. This has been released in both book and
cassette form, but the book is more comprehensive.
- Schneider,
Meg F.
-
- Help!
I Can't Think of a Thing to Say
- 1987;
Field Publications
-
- Contains
excellent advice on the art of conversation for young people.
Dating
- Edwards,
Marie & Hoover, Eleanor
-
- The
Challenge of Being Single
- 1974;
Jeremy P. Tarcher, Inc.
-
- Contrary
to what the title might lead you to believe, this is not a book about
finding a mate. Rather, it is a celebration of singlehood, a reminder
that "getting married is something one chooses to do or not to do, not
something one must do in order to lead a complete life." Recommended.
- Seigel,
Barbara & Scott
-
- How
to Date With Confidence
- 1985;
Archway Paperback
-
- Answers
just about every question anybody could have about the psychology and
how-to of dating. Highly recommended.
General
Self-help
- Ellis,
Albert Ph.D.
-
- How
to Stubbornly Refuse To Make Yourself Miserable About Anything...Yes,
ANYTHING!
- 1988;
Lyle Stuart
-
- Describes
how we make ourselves unhappy through our thinking patterns and how to
change them.There is a website devoted to the author's Rational Emotive
Therapy, the Albert Ellis Ph.D. Institute, http://www.rebt.org.
- Fast,
Julius
-
- Body
Language
- 1970;
M. Evans & Co.
-
- Reveals
just how much people can tell about us through the remarkably subtle
signals we send out through our bodies.
- Lorayne,
Harry
-
- Remembering
People; The Key to Success
- 1975;
Stein & Day
-
- While
the techniques outlined in this book don't work as well for most people
as they do for the book's author (who is a natural and can remember
hundreds of names at a time), with the appropriate applied effort, they
will improve anybody's memory to a noticeable degree.
- Maltz,
Maxwell
-
- Psycho-Cybernetics;
A New technique for Using Your Subconscious Power
- 1960;
Prentice Hall, Inc.
-
- One
part of this book I disagree with is the claim that "trying too hard"
is the general cause of shyness. I have found from personal experience
that when I don't make a supreme effort to overcome
my shyness, I don't achieve much in the way of results. However, this
book contains generally good advice for straightening out one's
thinking. Dr Maltz wrote a whole shelf full of books based on his
Cybernetics principles, but this one was the best.
-
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